I remember thinking as a kid, "I'm never going to say that to my kids". You know what I'm talking about. Those statements and responses said by your parents that just fired you up, or made you roll your eyes, or the ones you just thought were a waste of breath. Now, I find myself often reiterating exact statements from my childhood only now I'm saying them TO my kids. They roll off your tongue like a ball down a slide.
When you become a parent everything changes. You will find yourself saying all sorts of things you never thought you would. Some of the things you heard from your parents as a kid, but some of them, just plain ridiculous. Raising tiny humans is hard. I sure do love my kids but sometimes you just don't have the words.
Here's just a few of things I've said to my kids that I never thought I would.
1. "I'm not their parent."
2. "My house my rules."
3. "I'm not your friend, I'm your mom."
4. "Why would you stick that up your nose?"
5. "Stop climbing the furniture."
6. "Where did you pee?"
7. "Where did you put my phone?"
8. "If you poop I'll give you a prize."
9. "Because I said."
10. "I'm just a mean mommy."
11. "Sure, you can have pudding for supper."
12. "Can I just pee by myself?"
13. "OH, everyone else is doing it? Then yes, of course."
14. "Why are your pants on inside out?"
15. "It's been 3 days, you have to take a bath!"
16. "Dog food is NOT for human consumption."
17. "No, I don't know if Mario marries Peach"
18. "Just . . . go outside and play."
19. "Why are you taping candy to the wall?"
20. Referring to the poop....."What did it look like?"
21. "Do not throw pancakes at your sister."
22. "Stop surfing the coffee table."
23. "Why are there Legos in the peanut butter?"
24. "Stop drinking your bath water."
25. "Bend over so I can wipe your butt."
26. "Please don't drill a whole in your PB&J"
27. "Way is there lotion all over your room?"
28. "Where did your diaper go?
29. "Stop trying to lick your sister."
30. "For the last time, stop taking off your pants."