Before we can move on we need to establish a few things.
🦄What is a Unicorn Mom With #Momfidence?
She's a mother's who is not perfect, enjoys alcohol, has a sense of humor and couldn't care less what you think.
She's got that feeling of being utterly amazing because no matter what other moms are doing, she knows she's already everything her kids need.
But we still ask ..........
How does she do that?
What aren't my kids well behaved like that?
When does she have time to make homemade snacks?
What is her secret to looking so good?
Why am I not as good of a mom as her?
We have ALL said something like this at one point or another. We answer questions about our strategies with a filter. We make excuses for our own shortcomings. And we never give ourselves credit for anything we do. Sound like you? It might be "normal" in your world but it's not healthy. Your kids need YOU. YOU need you!
According to a recent study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies, mothers who don’t feel they stack up to societal expectations and fear being criticized by others are prone to feeling shame. What’s more, comparing yourself to other moms can cause stress, envy, even depression. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Over it? Take these steps.
1. Don't Assume. It makes an "ass" out of "U" and "me"
Appearances and perceptions are not quantifiable. It LOOKS like she has more money, it LOOKS like she has it all together. But the reality is we ALL have shortcomings, challenges, disappointment and fails. What if we all wore those on our shirts and posted them on our Facebook pages. Wouldn't it be a totally new point of connection instead of judgement?
2. Give Yourself A High-Five
Look at the bar you are setting and judging against. Stop looking at everyone else and look and where you began. I became a mom at 22 with no direction or clue on being a mom. Somehow it lit a fire in me and I did what I had to do. Looking back, I've learned a lot. Am I perfect? No way! But am I better? Sure am!
3. Be Obsessively Grateful
Being grateful when things are "easy" is one thing. Being grateful for your struggles and challenges is a different ball park. Gratitude is everything. It allows us to operate from a place of abundance and faith. It’s a complete game changer and can have a significant impact on our lives if we choose.
4. Be Present
We are always thinking about what's next. What we missed. How we are going to make things work. All the while we aren't present in any current moments. Learn from the past. Plan for the future as best you can and live in the moment.
5. Think Differently
Never underestimate the power of our minds. They say "Whether you think you are wrong or right, you are". If your head is in the right space, "comparing" is the ultimate motivator. If you think someone has it better, invest your energy into achieving that goal. It's OK to want to be more than you think you are
6. Positivity is the Equalizer
We are all human. We will all innately compare ourselves to others. But instead of the comparisons, what if we used the energy we use in comparisons and invest in positivity? Next time you find yourself wishing into someone's life, wish them well instead. What you put out there comes back to you. Your vibe becomes your tribe!