I've lived a lot of my life with the insane desire for approval. Everyone was my judge and I struggled to find my true identity because I often let others define me. Their words hurt and broke me down. I built a shell but often cried in silence. To this day I can still be broken down by criticism because it always feels personal even when it's meant to be constructive because my guard is always up and that voice can still creep inside my head.
Growing up with hate, cruelty, and bullying created a complete emotional disconnect as a way to cope, an eating disorder, excessive partying, things I'm not proud of. When I was 22, I became pregnant with no sign of a picket fence or happy ending. I wasn't done with school. I was really on my own. Judgement ensued both from others and from myself. But I decided at that moment to look at myself as a steward for strength and resilience that I would represent to my daughter in the future. It didn't matter what anyone's opinions were anymore, they weren't going to pay my bills or raise my child. That's when my focus started to shift.
I have come along way but the other day, on Facebook live, putting myself out there, I was ASTONISHED at some of the comments random people made just to be mean. Yes, I addressed them directly, and yes I booted them out because my page isn't about that negativity, but here is how I'm rising above.
When I was younger, I let every voice seep into my head and run my life. But the drive to be a better version of me for my daughter took over that voice in my head that always told me I wasn't good enough.
3 Things You Have To Do To Rise Above
1) Know your truths
These will SAVE you. Every lie that pops into your head needs to be combated by the truth. We have all felt unworthy, not good enough, we tell ourselves HORRIBLE things. We have truths. Things about us that we KNOW deep down but we hardly let ourselves believe it. Who are you? What do you believe? Write it down. Remember it. Own it.
2) Live your truth
This takes work. It takes practice and consistency. Once you know it, you can live it. Don't hide behind judgment, self or society inflicted, or anything else. Your personal truth is just that, truth. Live it Loud and Proud.
3) Keep working on yourself
We are all in process! We should all be working towards a better version of ourselves daily! Personal development is a KEY to helping me grow. I never stop learning or trying to be better. It strengthens my resistance to any of those haters because if reinforces my truth. Check out my top books you should be reading.
YOU... yes you, are already amazing! Don't let anyone tell you differently. You can read more about how I've Thrown Out The Past To Thrive.