My daughter asked me the other day, “Is it fun being a mom?” I told her it’s the most fun I’ve ever had and the hardest thing I’ve ever done all in one. But the fun outweighs the bad. Almost all the time.
But I'm here to tell you all, to remind myself, we ALL feel like failures from time to time.
We’ve cried in a bathroom just for a moment of relief.
We’ve yelled at our kids and then apologized profusely.
We’ve sent them off to school in whatever they came up in the stairs in because it was easier.
We’ve slept on the absolute edge of the bed or maybe even the floor, just so everyone could get some sleep.
We’ve been tricked into thinking it really was the “last time”.
We’ve dropped off kids in our sweat pants and mom bun.
We've scrolled past the 14th volunteer email you’ve gotten because you are just too dang tired!
We've all thought at some point, we are a "bad mom".
But there is hope. There are 10 truths you NEED to know and understand to survive.
1. You are here. You needed some validation for all the bad mom feelings you’ve been having. That just means YOU CARE! And if you care. You can make a plan for improvement. Stop hosting your own pity party. Let those negatives feelings fuel your better-plan brain. Let’s find solutions, not dwell on the past.
2. Our failures, weaknesses, and sins are NOT who we are. You are an amazing mom who sometimes has rough spots. Tomorrow will likely be better. These moments don’t define us. They don’t determine our character. They are NOT who we are.
3. When you are tired and stressed your “filter” guard is down. It is easier to believe the lies of “bad moms” when you are tired and stressed. Don’t let your sleep-deprived or stressed-out brain trick you into believing that it’s necessary to head the PTA or that because you forgot it’s bring a treat day that you will forever be shunned. SHUT IT DOWN!
4. We ALL have bad days. It’s the sum. Not one. Kids are built by the sum. Not one. It’s not the one bad day you had. It’s the sum of all the things you do and all they days they had, that makes a kid who they are. Not you or them will really member the bad days later on in life.
5. We do too much of the things we don’t like, far beyond what we are really gifted in and not enough of where our talents lie. Why have this “ought to” and “should” mentality that often stretch us beyond what we are really built and designed to do and then it because stressful and discouraging. Take stock of your gifts and personality in order to shape your own mothering style.
MOST of my pinterest projects fail. I’m not a good house décor designer. My gifts are in being creative and quick. They aren’t in crafting fun DIY projects but if finding 8 new ways to finish a science project the night before.
6. Everyone’s got their hard. Whether you have 1 or 6, old or young, far between, special needs, there are ALWAYS challenges. Your hard is hard. Don’t berate yourself for “not handling things well” or for feeling overwhelmed. Don’t compare yourself to others and their visible problems or lack there of.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)